Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
