Umm I'm too high to move.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just tell him i said nine months
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
