Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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