shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
