that's an acceptable place to lick
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
