So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
