That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
im holly from the hills drunk
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
