Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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