areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
