Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
