The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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