Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
This house was built for laser tag.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
