ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
