i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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