whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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