You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
