Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
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