Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
