I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
