i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
