he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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