So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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