She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
May the power of my ass compel you!!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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