I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
