We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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