My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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