It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We are two peas in an std pod
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
