I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
