are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
