ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
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