Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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