Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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