It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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