His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
no you cant smoke seaweed
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
