Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
