If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
