Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
