I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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