dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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