what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Still dying that you shit outside
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
