I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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