totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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