Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
