i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
