do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
