is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
