I need help removing her.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
