3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
