i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
