they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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