I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
