I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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