I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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